Insecurities seem to be a main driving force behind many fears and anxieties that people face on an every day basis, but what exactly is an insecurity? By definition it's an uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. A lack of confidence (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/insecurity). Now you may be wondering, 'Why do people have insecurities?' There are many factors that contribute to this, but the most obvious one is that there are parts of oneself that you might not like. It's because you don't like yourself for who you are because of the way other people have reacted to you. Let's go deeper than that though. Why would anyone decide to hate themselves(or parts of themselves)?
To really understand this, you have to listen to the voice inside of your head, without judgement. Just listen to it as the way it is. Just observe. Don't listen to it as the way you think it is.
Most of your thoughts and ideals come from an outdated way of thinking that was originally created when you were a kid. When you were little, your main motive was just survival and protecting yourself. If lets say, you were yelled at for not picking up your toys, you gained this fear for being yelled at again, so that fear was implanted in your head. For the sake of your 'survival' your brain would induce this fear inside of you to prevent you from being 'attacked' or yelled at again. Thus this turns into an insecurity. You begin to care about what others think about you in fear of being 'attacked' again. Twenty years down the road, that fear is still implanted in your head, but instead of viewing it as an insecurity or fear, you've turned it into a respect thing. You don't want to just leave messes wherever you go because that would be disrespectful to the other people. But deep down, it stems from caring about what others think of you. It stems from your survival instincts. But most people don't realize it, because they don't look at this way. That's only just one example though.
Maybe some of you were made fun of for your weight when you were little, or you compared yourself too much to the people you see on TV, so your survival instincts put that fear into your head, saying that you need to care about about your weight from having to avoid dealing with other peoples judgement, or judgement of yourself.
Pretty much this survival instinct focuses on yourself. It's part of the ego. When you feel like you're being attacked, even if it's just with words, or pictures, that triggers the survival part of your brain. It becomes an insecurity. And when the insecurity becomes too great, it leads to hating yourself and thus losing confidence in yourself.
Now I'm not saying having insecurities are a bad thing. Obviously your brain had good intentions, going into that 'defensive' state, but I feel as though it can get out of hand when you continue with that mindset for the rest of your life. But once you reach a certain state in your human evolution, there comes a time when worrying about what others think of you is no longer important. There comes a time when you need to start becoming your own person and embracing it, rather than hating it, or worrying if other people would like/hate it. If you want to stop feeling insecure or stop feeling like you're being attacked all the time, then I think it's about time you're ready to move on in this human experience.
First and foremost, you have to learn to become aware of yourself and your insecurities. I feel as though a lot of people aren't even aware of the fact that they have them. They view it as something that is normal to them so they don't find reasons to want to change that. So the first step to figuring out any problem, is awareness.
Once you have become aware of the situation, next you have to learn to not care so much about what other people think about you. Just remember that if you continue with this 'survival' mindset, you're going to go your entire life caring about what other people think about you, and you're going to die that way. As blunt and brutal as that sounds, it's the truth. Instead of focusing so much on what other people think of you, focus on what you think of yourself. Learn to love yourself. Maybe you're not necessarily the prettiest person in the world, but so what? It's a body that you were born with, you could either hate it your entire life, and make your life harder than what it needs to be, or you can learn to love it for what it is. Maybe you're just naturally a quiet person, but so many people have commented on it, or you've compared your quietness with everyone else's talkative nature so you became insecure about it. So now any time there's an 'awkward silence' you feel the need to either just avoid the situation or try to come up with something to say in fear of that silence. Instead of doing either of those, why not just be yourself? If you have absolutely nothing to say, then don't try to force anything out. Why try to be something you're not? That's even harder than being yourself.
What I've realized that really helps, is that if you spend a lot of time with people who like you for you who are, people who try to help you bring out your natural self, you won't necessarily have to feel so uncomfortable trying to be something you're not just to impress someone you don't like.
Always remember, that you are not your insecurities. Your insecurities are just constructs of fear that your brain has created for itself. You have the power to change your mindset. Don't ever be ashamed to be yourself. Don't let the fear stop you from being who ever you want to be. Love yourself.
Thank you all for reading my post. I love you. Namasté<3
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