Merry Christmas!

Wait... It's Christmas already? Where did all that time go? I Feel like 2014 just started not that long ago. Well I hope all that last minute shopping was worth it because today is the day! A day filled with holiday advertisements, being around family members you don't like, arguments, consumerism, jealousy because Jimmy got the better toy, money, and crying from the lack of money! What a joyful day isn't it? Oh wait... let me try that again...

Merry Christmas! A day of Love and Joy spent well with family and friends! A day of giving and sharing! A day... that is...Well that failed.

I forgot how much I don't like shopping until I did some Christmas shopping this year. Trying to figure out what to get other people can be quite the difficult challenge. #TheStruggleIsReal. My Little Pony will forever be stuck in my head.

Today is also the day when people get into arguments about what's the "proper" way to say "Merry Christmas." Pfft. Please. That don't matter.

Today is also the day when people cook delicious food. I like food.

Fact #666: This is not a serious post so if you were expecting one, please mix more bourbon with that eggnog.

Basic bitches are a real thing and come out of their caves every holiday. You've probably ran into a lot of them already. You probably are one.

Kids, if you notice that Santa's handwriting is the same as your parents, there's a reason for that. No, your parents are not Santa Clause so stop thinking that right now.

There are more Christmas movies out there than there are of cookies inside of Santa.

Pets, remember that the Christmas tree is not a toy for you to play with.

Make sure you make it on the naughty list.

Remember that it's all about the gifts. If you get a gift that you don't like, throw a big tantrum, be selfish, and demand that you get what you want.

I lied. Don't really do that.

When planning for your new years resolution, make sure you actually plan to go through with them this time around.

For you stoners out there. Make sure that your dinner falls right after 4:20. And don't get caught by family members. Or cops.

Go play in the snow. If there is any. For you people in the desert, go play in the sand.

If it's yellow, eat it.

Try not to spend your Christmas money all at once.

Have a Merry Happy Hanukwanzaa!